Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Books Read in 2013

1. Princess Elizabeth's Spy
2. Pieces
3. Telling Lies for Fun and Profit
4. Gone Girl
5. Etiquette and Espionage
6. The Fault in Our Stars
7. The Host
8. Beastly
9. A Kiss in Time
10. Pulse and Prejudice
11. What Kings Ate and Wizards Drank
12. A Jane Austen Daydream
13. The Graveyard Book
14. The Red Necklace
15. Austenland
16. The Color of Magic
17. Stardust
18. Si-Cology 101
19. Spy School
20. Girl With a Pearl Earring
21. Coraline
22. Frosted
23. Stealing Time
24. Divergent

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Books I plan to read--or finish reading--in 2014

Yeah, I have a lot of unfinished business with a few books. They are as follows, though the list might shorten itself before the end of the year:

1. The Four Feathers
2. Northanger Abbey
3. The Writer's Journey
4. The Accidental Hero
5. Bleak House
6. Siren Suicides: I Chose to Die
7. Emma
8. ? (I can't even remember what book this is...)

On my TBR pile:

9. Divergent
10. The Book Thief
11. Becoming Jane Austen
12. Mansfield Park

and hopefully thirty-eight others. I also plan on rereading the Lord of the Rings trilogy :)

What about YOU? What are your reading plans for the new year?

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


In a Pickle is on sale for just 99-cents from the following retailers:


Smashwords (with the following info):
Promotional price: $0.99
Coupon Code: CZ35W
Expires: December 13, 2013




MuseItUp Publishing

It *might* be available for 99-cents on Barnes and Noble as well, but I haven't been able to check yet.

Get it while the deal lasts! Today through the 12th, 2013

Friday, November 29, 2013

Blog Hop

Thank you, Marsha R. West, for tagging me! Here is the Q and A:

Q: What are you working on right now?

A: I have an idea file of exactly sixty projects. Right now I'm working on re-writing another middle grade adventure, and a YA fantastical romance. (I'm too fond of the titles to share yet!)
Q: How does it differ from other works in its genre?

A: The MG book differs from most other books in that it doesn't skirt around or sugar coat the subject matter, which is mental illness. As for the YA fantasy, I'm not in far enough to know yet.
Q: Why do you write what you do?

A: I write what I like to write and what I like to read. I don't write to trends. I say "Write for yourself, edit for others." That's how I try to get by.
Q: How does your writing process work?

A: I come up with the idea, which usually hits me over the head at strange moments, then flesh it out. Once I've let it stew for awhile, I try it out on paper.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!

From the Overmyer kitchen...

(These were just from tonight)

...and our cold front porch/impromptu fridge:

Wishing you and yours a day full of family/friends, good food, and gratitude for the One who provides all good things.


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Ewww! Squeamish Stomachs Beware!

I was just watching the latest episode of Survivor, and was totally grossed out by the first challenge. I don't want to post spoilers, but last week's "scenes from our next episode" gave away the fact that there was an eating competition.

For those of you who've never watched the show, "eating competitions" aren't about scarfing down hot dogs. What they devoured were "native delicacies." Stuff that would make people like me barf. Then I thought, what are the grossest things I've eaten?

In my book In a Pickle, Charlie Pickle loves sausage patties and links. Fun fact: I cannot abide pork products. Why Charlie favors them, I do not know. But that is not by FAR the grossest thing I've eaten.

Right before my senior year of high school ended, I played my youth group's version of the show...Survivor: Trinity (I was out third.) There was no gross eating contest, but to prove that I was real Survivor material--and being one to get a laugh--I ate a green (hairless and harmless) caterpillar. Gross, but not the grossest.

My grandma is one of the world's best cooks. But she likes to fry up a certain canned ham. Before I was adverse to pork, I gave it a whirl. Pretty close to the grossest thing, but I would eat that over a few other items.

Peppercorns. I HATE BLACK PEPPER! Sure, I like a little ground in a dish where you only get the heat not the flavor. But the stuff is NASTY. Make me choose between canned ham and a peppercorn...and I'll probably ask to be excused from the table.

Sardine-flavored jelly beans tasted AWFUL. I know you want to go to Hogwarts, but that doesn't mean you want to take a "risk with every mouthful."

Smoked salmon. Fishies under the sea should stay under the sea. Especially salmon, and especially when it's smoked. Worst taste EVER.

For the record: The most disgusting "food" of mine is not liver, brain, kidney, any intestines or organs, really. No. The grossest thing I've eaten: Bones. In my soup. Yeah. I won't say who made the soup of death or where I had it, but I was forced to swallow tiny bones that were large enough to make me gag and could've broken my teeth.

All of these things are/were DISGUSTING. And, for the record, I've eaten grass.

What's the grossest thing you've put in your mouth, chewed, and swallowed?

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Life of a Scarf (WARNING: Violence/Horror)

Too many times.

Too many times I've been gifted. Everyone wears me, uses me and then puts me away when the fine weather sets in. I've been paired with blue jeans, slinky black dresses, a red bridesmaid gown and...I feel so used. I am beautiful. I deserve better than bouncing around from person to person. I deserve respect and a permanent home.

This year's mistress, a woman in her late twenties, dons me and says to her reflection, "This should be good for the charity store."

"No!" I try to scream, only I have no mouth.

She can't do this to me!

As my mistress starts to unwind me from around her alabaster throat, I tighten, curl around her like a snake.

She gasps, trying to force me away as her breathing comes out, rasping.

Tighter and tighter.

She stumbles  into her closet door, pounding with her fists, hoping that someone might come to her aid. She flails and she digs  into me with her nails.

I continue to wind and wind until my mistress slumps to the floor. Cold, breathless, DEAD.

Then it occurs to me: "Now I'm on sale for sure."

What have I done?

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Amy Laurens' Cover Reveal for To Dust

Ready for the shininess? Here 'tis:

Blurb: Containing four previously-published and three brand-new short stories, To Dust is a YA anthology featuring mostly fantasy and speculative fiction.

Stories included:

To Dust
The maliche are devouring Imber’s world, and the only tool she has to stop them is a magic box. Shame the only ones who can work the magic are the terrifying fae in their forest home…
- Certified
Anna is a Raiser, able to raise from the dead anyone she doesn’t know. So what can she do when her best friend murders her boyfriend? Everyday Weirdness, 5 July 2010.
- Interchange
When the man sitting next to her on the bus begins to cry, Ella is horrified. What can be wrong? TeenAge Magazine, September 2009.
- Not Fantasy
Beth knows that the fairy world exists; her best friends are a pink tortoise and a talking pen, after all. Her creative writing professor strongly disagrees – perhaps too strongly, Beth thinks, when strange cracks start appearing in his office.
- Shoe
Would you take home the pair-less shoe? AlienSkin Magazine, December 2009.
- The Wasporcist
Everyone thinks she’s mad when she complains about the noise – but Lily knows the buzzing in her ears is more than her imagination. Time to call the Wasporcist…
- Sea Foam and Blood
Terminally-ill Adelaide finds an unexpected cure in the Pegasus myth come to life. Moon Drenched Fables, June 2009 (Best in Issue).
Find Amy:

Find To Dust:

Saturday, September 28, 2013

What Am I? (PG for gore)

Dark shadow rising.
Frothy foam splits and reveals...The Mouth.
Rows upon rows of teeth.
He looks at me with his large dead eyes, mouth gaping before he brings down a crushing, shattering, ripping, shredding blow across my arm. Crimson blooms, bursts, bubbles, and feeds the frenzy. I'm sinking, flailing and twisting.
A watery scream from a watery grave as the crimson drives him insane with ecstasy.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Happy Fall!

Gentle keening of tree frogs. Leaves crisp beneath my heavy feet. Rasping bales of straw as they scrunch and sink beneath my heft. The crisp chomp on an apple and the rhythmic ker-chump, ker-chump as it rolls between my teeth in sharp, wet slurps. A tractor puttering and sputtering as it yawns to life. These are the sounds of my autumn.
This was part of a writing exercise: write about autumn sounds.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

(Unedited) Writing Exercise Results 2.0

I lost my mind somewhere on the road back there. We searched high, we searched low. Back and forth, deep down in the dark tunnels of the world, with all its creepy, crawling pieces of flesh-devouring worms. Perhaps my mind was consumed by one of them. "Have you seen my brain?" I asked one of the largest worms, whom I thought might be their king.

It squirmed and it writhed like a leaf on the wind, but it wouldn't answer, so I moved on again. To the next fattest worm I did go. "Have you seen my brain?"

It wended and writhed like a boat caught on the rapids, but it did not answer me.

So I moved onto the third fattest worm, fast losing hope of ever seeing my mind again.

"Please say you've seen my brain!" I wailed.

This worm considered me for some time...before saying, "Wake up."
^ Freewriting for 5-10 minutes

Saturday, September 7, 2013

(Unedited) Writing Exercise Results

The last days of summer found me at the fair. The great thing about this carnival of sights and sounds is that it is the same every year: You always know what to expect. The worst thing about this sweaty, deep-fat-fried, eye-squinting experience is that it is the same every stinkin' year, and there are no surprises. Or are there...?

One slippery, sun-slathered day, at the end of August, I found myself at the fair gates. I approached the ticket stand and asked for two. The woman, in her world-weary voice, hissed at me. She actually hissed.

I paused to stare, thinking I had perhaps imagined things. Again I said, "Two tickets, please."

She wrinkled up her stubby nose and swiped at me with her over-long fingernails, that were slightly curved and each sharpened to a point.

Now it was personal. "Look," I said, "I just want two tickets."

She stared at me with two beady eyes and then I smelled it. Cat breath. "Um, is that tuna you're eating?"

She stretched her arms out to into the sun, then climbed up onto the counter inside of her stand, and curled up into a ball.

By now, the line behind me was growing quite long, and I was a little more than weirded out. "Kitty?" I whispered before I could stop myself.

Like all felines, the cat-of-a-woman ignored me, yawned, and rested her head on her arm.

Then I realized something: She was wearing a collar, and she was not a woman but an actual snow-white Persian with whiskers and a long, poofy tail.

It must have been a trick of the light.
^Write about the end of your summer.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

September Approacheth

Tomorrow is the first day of September. Hooray? Nay? Personally, I have no plans for the month, other than to finish (and re-structure--holla, Dr. S!) my current WIP. Hmm. Maybe I should make some goals. All righty, then...


1. Outline/re-structure novel
2. Finish draft 1.56341 of "The Disorderlies"
3. Write 10,000 words on a project OTHER THAN TD
4. Blog at least four times
5. Tweet every day
6. Plan for NaNoWriMo and NaNoWriMo related activities*

*As you may or may not know (or care), I'm the unofficial ML (Municipal Liaison) for my district--unofficial as in no one knows it but me (yet) and I'm planning write-ins at my local library (boo-yah!)
I'm curious to know other people's goals. Let's form a competition:

The person (or 'borg) to reach the most words written by 11:59:59 PM on September 30, 2013 wins a copy of In a Pickle. Sound good? Start writing at midnight tonight. Think you can beat me?

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Random Postage

If you are what you read...

I'm an overly imaginative clone-creature, who's lost most of their sight and wishes to prove that they are not a coward and to write about Medieval goings-on and perhaps catch a falling star in the process.

*she folds her hands in her lap*

Who are YOU?
What I'm reading:

- Stardust
- Merlin's Blade
- Becoming NADIA
- Bleak House
- The Age of Chivalry
- Northanger Abbey
- The Writer's Journey
- The Four Feathers

(I must confess, however, that I haven't progressed in my reading on a few of these for some time. But I still consider them to be on my reading pile.)

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Tough Stuff: What It Takes to be a Writer

Whether you're twelve and dreaming of becoming of a writer, or you're twenty and just starting out, there are things all writers need to do, and needs they have in common.

To Do List:

1. Write.

I might be dating myself here, but has anyone seen Throw Mama From the Train (Billy Crystal)? Billy Crystal's character's favorite catchphrase was "Writer's write. ALWAYS." Whether you feel like it or not, you should write, right?

Yes, but that's not always going to happen. So besides writing, writers need to:

2. Have realistic expectations.

...of yourself and others. You're not always going to produce 1,000 words a day. Life happens. As far as others go, not everyone's going to understand you and your madly creative world, so cut them some slack. But remember to:

3. Be you!

Everyone has a unique voice, just waiting to be discovered. Don't sacrifice your writing on the altar of trends, crazes, "so-and-so writes such-and-such a way." You gotta do what works for you. But no matter what, do not forget to:

4. Rewrite, edit, revise, etc., etc., etc.

Everyone needs to. No exceptions to the rules here. Period.

5. Read.

It helps spawn new ideas, show you weaknesses in your own writing, etc.

Every writer needs...

1. Support. 

No man is an island. Join a writing circle, online or in person--or both! Or have some network of accountability and support set up.

2. Encouragement.

It's so easy to get discouraged and want to quit. That's where a support group comes in handy.

3. Constructive criticism.

It may hurt, but it's important to get an outside opinion...when you're ready.

What'd I miss? Have anything to add?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

National Children's Book Day

How am I just discovering that this is a holiday?

Anyway, want to celebrate? Here are some ideas to help you honor the day:

1. Read a children's book...
to your child/ren!
to your inner child!
2. Visit your local library
3. Give a bookstore your patronage: Buy a children's book
4. Support your favorite children's authors: Tweet/blog/Tumblr about their books

Here is a list of some pretty incredible children's books:

1. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
2. Hank the Cow Dog (loved this series when I was younger)
3. The Boxcar Children series (ditto to the above)
4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
5. Flipped
6. Goodnight, Moon
7. The Wednesday Wars
8. Okay for Now

I'd love to hear some of your favorite children's books. Also, are you doing anything special to celebrate the day? Let me us know in the comments below!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Ding-Dong, the Book is FINISHED! ...Kinda

You may or may not have been following my new book's progress. I've been posting about it a lot on Critique Circle, Facebook, and Twitter. The good news? Draft one is FINISHED! *insert celebratory cake and drinks here* The great news? You won't have to hear anymore updates on it for two whole months. Now, that is something to celebrate.

Why two months, you ask? Why, I'm giving myself some time to get distance and perspective from the project. I've been working on it for over a year now. Time to work on something new for awhile. Then, in September, I'll tackle rewrites.

Thanks to all who've been encouraging/putting up with me!

Keep breathing,

Friday, June 21, 2013

Your Summer Reading List

Looking for some hot reads this summer? I present

Beth's Library
Books read and approved by yours truly

Middle Grade:
-Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (Rick Riordan)
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (J. K. Rowling)
-The Wednesday Wars (Gary D. Schmidt)
-Okay for Now (Gary D. Schmidt)
-In a Pickle (Beth Overmyer) ...Sorry! I couldn't resist!

New Adult:
- The Breakaway (Michelle D. Argyle)
- Pieces (Michelle D. Argyle)
- Harvest Moon (Krista D. Ball)

-The Woman in White (Wilkie Collins) FREE on Kindle!
-The Moonstone (Wilkie Collins) FREE on Kindle!
-N or M? (Agatha Christie)
-And Then There Were None (Agatha Christie)

-Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
-A Jane Austen Daydream (Scott D. Southard)

Science Fiction:
-Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
-The Host (Stephanie Meyer)

-The Silver Linings Playbook

-The Hobbit (J. R. R. Tolkien)
-The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (J. R. R. Tolkien)

-The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)

Light Horror:
-The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux)

-What Kings Ate and Wizards Drank (Krista D. Ball)

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Random Fact Time

From all the research I've mentioned doing, you should've known I couldn't keep it all to myself! For those interested (and those not) I present, in no particular order...


1. You've always heard that only nobility wore crimson in medieval times, right? "What was so special about the color red?" you ask. Good question, Watson. It's simple: Crimson was a type of fabric. It usually came in three different colors: Green, blue(or was it brown?), and white.

2. In all the movies, you see King Arthur riding off to battle on horseback, feet secure in his noble steed's stirrups. Lovely picture, no? There's just one big problem: Stirrups most likely didn't make it to Europe until the 8th or 9th century. King Arthur's supposed reign took place from 6th to 7th century England. That means a lot of battles on foot (can you imagine riding without security, a heavy shield in hand and a none-too-light sword at your side?)

3. Forget early medieval pottery. Early attempts were...sad. Well, what would you did if you didn't have a potter's wheel and didn't have the fuel or kiln to fire the clay at a high enough temperature? Most tableware of the early middle ages were most likely made of wood.

4. Like tableware, most furniture and buildings were probably wooden in the 6th and 7th centuries. Not much has survived, seeing as wood decays and breaks down naturally in soil. Mostly what we have to go on are documents and art from that time.

5. Candles in the middle ages were made of tallow (animal fat.) It stunk! But if you were starving, well, it's better to eat than to have light, am I right?
They say you're always learning something new. What did YOU learn this past week? 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Back in Time

Time-travel. I think we've probably all been exposed to the trope, whether in movies, books, or TV shows.

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells was published in 1895, and two films were made out of it. Also, back in the late 90's, the children's television show Wishbone did its own mini adaptation of the classic.

Doctor Who, while not my favorite show (wink), has drawn viewers from all over the globe. Time-travel, space travel, is there nothing a Tardis can't do? And will someone please explain to me why there are so many different Doctors?

 Back to the Future brings images of bright orange "life preservers" and Deloreans to mind, as well as the hip sounds of Huey Lewis and the News. Let's admit it to ourselves: The first two were the best, the last one was...Well, I'll let you argue it out in the comments :)

The Missing series by Margaret Peterson Haddix takes us back and forth through time. It's a fun middle grade series, and I don't want to give away the major twist so Shhhh!

I've never read The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, but I've heard that it's good.

There are two major disadvantages I see in using this genre/trope/whatever-you-want-to-call-it:

1. The paradox factor (I killed my father as a child, so now I'm not born, but if I weren't born, I didn't kill my father, so he's still alive and I was born, but I killed my father...) Don't get me started on alternate reality (Star Trek rebooted...I am pro, btw.)

2. Historical accuracy (Read: TONS of research.)

Despite those major hurdles, it's one of my favorite genres to write (and read) in.

Anyone have any other thoughts on this? Any favorite time travel books, programs, movies I should check out? I'm always looking for new material to entertain myself with :)

Keep breathing,

Friday, May 31, 2013

Name Reveal

And the FMC (female main character) of my new project is...

Celeste "Les" Baker!

Thanks for all the help, you guys. Much appreciated. And, now for the additional names in honor of the first five to comment:

Nadine: The hip close friend

Phoenix: Eldest daughter of the king

Dan: Nadine's boyfriend

Penny: Celeste's career counselor at college

Susanne: Youngest daughter of the king

If you were one of the first three to comment and haven't received your copy of In a Pickle yet, please email me: bethovermyer@gmail.com

Next time I need help naming characters, I am definitely going to you guys. I may also have a few questions and prizes in the near future, so stay tuned!

Keep breathing,

Only one month left to help me raise money for Haiti! You may rectify this at once by purchasing a copy of my middle grade novella In a Pickle before or on June 30th, 2013. Every penny I make will go to Greta Home & Academy in Haiti.

Oh, and be sure to pick up a FREE teacher's guide.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Help Me Name My Characters and Win!

What's in a name?

A lot!

I notice when a name is too long or strange, I'm drawn out of the story and get distracted. On the other hand, not every character can (or should) be named "Bob."

I'm having troubles settling on a name for my female protagonist. The project Y appears in flits between medieval and modern times, the young woman in question being in the 21st century. My male lead's name starts with "M," so I don't want an M-name.

Here's what I can tell you about Y:

Age - 23
Occupation - Student of Greek mythology, fry cook, former nanny
Interests - Judo (in which she just obtained a brown belt), sculpting (she sucks at it), and fencing (foil)
Personality - Strong, feminine, hot temper, and bookish...likes trying everything she's remotely interested in but isn't always good at finishing things

Here's where YOU come in...

Select one favorite from the list of names I provide below, along with a name of your own. The first three people to comment will get a free copy of In a Pickle. The first five people will have a character named after them, supporting or otherwise. And everyone who comments will have my eternal gratitude and a gold star. Ready? Here we go!

- Jasmine (Jazz)
- Celeste (Les)
- Finley (Fin)
- Charlotte (Charlie)
- Clemence (Clem?)
- Felicia

Now, shall we begin?

Saturday, May 18, 2013


Do you like to read a book in a nook (on your Nook?--hehe)?

When I say "nook," I think cozy, enclosed space. Like a hollow of a tree on a warm summer's morning, the earth still wet with dew. You can smell the grass, can't you? Or inside a Tauntaun...which wouldn't smell quite as nice...

What does this say about your personality? 

*puts on Freudian thinking cap*

Probably that you want to feel secure, like being inside the womb of your mother, whom you are still having issues with...ya?

Or maybe you're into wide open spaces...like a beach.

Indoor? Outdoor? In public? All alone?

Personally, I can't stand having noise while I'm reading, so I read alone. Indoors, in my room, on my bed...that's how I roll.

What about you? Where can I find YOU reading?

And while I'm at it, what are you reading right now? Anything I should know about?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Hills are Alive!

This morning, the hills are alive with ukulele artist and singer Kari Maren. Check her music out. Tracks include:

1. Beowulf Pulled My Arm Off
2. Dear George R. R. Martin
3. Have I Mentioned We're All Dead Here?
4. I'm Under Your Bed
5. Voldemort, I Wanna be Like You
6. Superheroine
7. Kids These Days
8. On Valentine's Day
9. Love Song
10. We Protest the Robot Occupation
11.  I Put My Trenchcoat on
12. Sasquatch
13. What Would Batman Do?
14. A Lonely Christmas out Here

My faves are 1, 2, and 13. Much fun :D

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Twins, a Sunday Six

Here are the top six questions people have asked me about being a twin. Get ready for some silliness:

6. "When you were younger, did you ever switch places?"
Never ask a clearly-fraternal twin this question ;)

5. "Do you two dress alike?"
When we were babies, our mom dressed us alike sometimes, since she was given matching outfits...

4. "What's it like being a twin?"
What's it like NOT being a twin?

3. "How are you two different?" <--said p="" sarcastically.="">She's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll.

2. "Can you both communicate with each other telepathically?"
O.o Yes? o.O


1. "Which one of you is the evil one?"
We're both evil.

Any other twins out there? What was the silliest question YOU'VE been asked?

Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Last Sentence(s) You Wrote

I like to have several projects going on at the same time. Some are on the back-burner (all right, forty are on the back-burner), but I have maybe four that I'm currently juggling. Here are the last sentences I typed on some of them:

I told the voice of reason to go straight to a very hot place. (London Towne

They only had twelve to begin with, after all.  (The Disorderlies)

That he was, in fact, a professional deceiver. (Blink in, Blink out)

Once he had wrapped his finger in a rag, he turned to me and said, “I’m part machine.” (Deus Experimental Division: The God Machine)

"It runs in the family." (Racing Through Time)

What about you other writers? What were some of the last sentences you wrote? Feel free to give context...or you can drop us in the middle of nowhere, like I did ;)

Keep breathing,

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Greta Home and Academy (Haiti) Fundraiser

Samaritan's Purse is an organization that ministers to those in need in the USA and around the world. Last year, they opened an orphanage/academy in Haiti. Would you be interested in helping?

Right now, sales for In a Pickle are in the second quarter. If you purchase a copy from now until June 30, 2013, 100% of the profit that I* make will go to Samaritan Purse's Greta Home and Academy in Haiti.

If you care to check out the organization, they have a four out of four star rating at Charity Navigator.

*My publisher and editors will still get their percentage. I receive a percentage after that.

Please spread the word!


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Dear Clement C. Moore (Because I Couldn't Wait for Christmas)

We've read your poem "The Night Before Christmas" and went over it with a fine-tooth comb. Here are some suggested changes from our esteemed editors:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

"Christmas" is offensive. Change to "Holiday."

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

In keeping with modern times, perhaps specify what a mouse is (not to be confused with the electronic device)?

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Dangerous. Setting a bad example to children. Maybe suggest the appropriate distance between (flame-retardant) fabric and open flame. Also, stockings have gone by the wayside. Change to "pantyhose" or "socks."

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there;

"St" is offensive. Change to one of the following: Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., Dr., etc.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

"Nestled" is the problem in this section. "Nestle" is a name under Trademark protection.

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

No one knows what a sugar-plum is. We had to Google it. Change to "candy canes."

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

I'm confused. Who wears a handerkerchief and a cap to bed? Change to "night attire" and "boxers."

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Not everyone has a lawn. Some live in apartments. Change lawn to "street."

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

"Flash"? Really? You're just really in to Rights/Marks infringement, aren't you?

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Why did you eat the sash in the first place? I'd like a little backstory here.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

"Breast" is not appropriate for our younger audiences. Change to "upper torso."

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer,

We don't say "miniature." It's "little."

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

"Old" is derogatory. Change to "elderly."

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

Again, change "St" to "Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., Dr., etc."

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

Eagles are an endangered species. Do not use in excess.

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

‘Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!’

Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms/Dr./etc. Nicholoas/Nick is very demanding of the poor animals. Perhaps he should ease up.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

Again, "Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms/Dr./etc."

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

One more instance of this, and I'm calling PETA.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound,

I don't want to have to tell you again. "St" is unacceptable.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

Fur? Okay, DEFINTELY calling PETA.

and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

No one knows what "peddler" is. Again, we had to Google. Change to "seller."

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

You must know the dangerous of smoking, Mr. Moore. Change to "candy cane."

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

Obesity is no laughing matter.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

"Elf" is an inappropriate word, unless you're referring to the elves in Lord of the Rings, in which case, you are infringing on JRR Tolkien's rights.

and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

Not "stockings" but "socks" or "pantyhose," as stated earlier.

and laying his finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

‘Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.


Make those changes, resubmit, and we'll reconsider publishing "The Night Before Holiday."

B.S. Publishing

Sunday, April 7, 2013

If You Wouldn't Say It in Person...

...don't say it on the Internet!

A lot of times, it's easy to forget that there are real, breathing human beings with feelings on the other side of the screen. Which is why take care and am not...


A troll, in case you are unfamiliar with web lingo, is someone who starts fights or insults people for the mere thrill/pleasure/rush/whatever it gives them. It's a fancier word that masks something darker: BULLY.

A troll is a bully, and a bully is a COWARD.

Do not let people make you think that just because it's said on the web, it doesn't affect anybody. That line of thought makes me sick and worried for my and the next generation. Heck, maybe online bullies know that the typed out words affect others, which makes me feel even sicker.

I've dealt with bullies in my writing, but not on a very deep level. I've dealt with bullies in real life (which includes online, because that's real as well.) Getting spat on for standing up for the "strange" girl. Getting called racist because I stood up for a friend. And one important thing I've learned from those encounters: Stand up for your friends, but don't start a flame war.

A flame war is a war of words. It's where both sides getting nastier and nastier, and it can escalate pretty quickly. Try to use your words to be a peace-maker (as much as possible, be at peace with others.) And report bullying as soon as you seen it. You may feel like a tattle-tale, but you might prevent something very bad from happening.

Lately in the news, I've heard too many horror stories. Please, don't lash out online or in person. Before you type something out, remember what I said:

If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it on the Internet!


If you wouldn't want it said or done to you, don't say or do it to others.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Writer's Easter Basket

If I were to get an Easter basket this year, this is what I'd want to find in it:

- Legal pads
- Nice pens
- Caffeine
- Caffeine
- Water-proof notepad!
- USB bracelet
- This book on platforms
- A book-creating kit (for my niece...when she gets older)

What do you want in YOUR Easter basket?

Sunday, March 24, 2013

In a Pickle Book Launch

On Saturday, March 23, 2013 I had my first book launch/book signing party! In a Pickle has been out for almost three months now, but I figured "Hmm. Party? Better late than never. Uh, yeah."

Me and the cover art (blown up.)

Oh, next up is the best:

Slice o' book cake, anyone?

And one more shot:

Autograph time :)

Thanks to all who attended. It was a great day.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Life Lesson Number One

Do not compare yourself and your success to others. It will just make you a bitter (and miserable) person.

You are you. You have your own talents and resources. If someone has more success at something than you do, do not wallow. They are them. They have their own talents and resources. 

Work with what you got and...

Keep breathing,

Thursday, February 21, 2013


I've been really stuck on this song lately. I'm probably going to buy The Perks of Being a Wallflower soundtrack. The songs keeps looping through my brain. Ahhh!

Anyone else have an ear-worm at the moment?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Extra! Extra!

Oh, yeah! Today I was in the Chronicle Telegram (not the online edition, so don't bother lookin') promoting my book In a Pickle. Yay! Haven't picked up a copy of IAP yet? Get 'em while they're fresh (Amazon or my publisher, links are on the right.)

I need a signature line. You know, something to sign myself out on. "Peace"? No, too cliche (and THAT is cliche to say it's cliche, so maybe it's not...Dun Dun DUN!) How about...

Keep breathing,

Monday, February 18, 2013


I just pounded out some wordage! My secret? I tuned in to Rainy Mood (I gave you a link a few days ago) and used a program called Focus Writer. The Rainy Mood track was excellent background noise, and the Focus Writer software blocked out all distractions on my computer (such as the internet.)

Okay, what was my real secret? I allowed myself to just write. No editing as I went, just pure creation.


Sunday, February 17, 2013

Happy Sunday

I hope you all had a restful day :) This evening, I've been chillin' with my home-cats and watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. #FunTimes


Saturday, February 16, 2013

I CAN Say No

I'm just a girl who CAN say no, and I just did. Have you ever started reading a book and couldn't make it past the first few chapters?

Or are you someone who HAS to read a book through to the end?

What would it take to get you to stop reading?

For me...

- A book that scene-jumps without transition. (As in, one second you're outside, the next you're inside and no transition was made.)

- A book that's plot/action is so slow, it takes you more than four chapters to decide that it's worth slogging through.

Those are just two. Someone did the first taboo in a book I recently tried. I am not going to mention the book or the author. That's just cruel, and I don't want to defame anyone. But the glaring error made me upset. It angered me that such an error made it to print. And it happened not once, not twice, but three times within the first thirty pages. Egads!

There. That was my rant of the day. Do you feel like ranting? Feel free to in the comments, without mentioning books or authors. I don't want to mud-sling ;)

Friday, February 15, 2013

Cyborg Seeking Women Advice

Dear Bethy:

I've been on the run for sometime now. Don't get me wrong: I didn't do anything illegal...I think. Does throwing yourself off a thirty-story building count? Tossing a bounty hunter around? Anyway, there's this girl in my life now. She's the first girl I've ever met, and so far so good. I was just wondering if you had any tips for dealing with women in general. So far, all I know is that they look different, smell better, and are cranky every so many weeks (or when you tell her you've got to run and you mean literally RUN away from the bad guys.)

Any help welcome,
A Cyborg Seeking Women Advice

Dear Cyborg:

First of all, congratulations on surviving such a fall. That's impressive, though it was a very foolish thing to do.  Before doing something so dangerous, stop and think "Will I survive?" or "Would I let my child do this someday?" If the answer is no, step back and make a new plan. As for women advice, do not generalize. Every woman is different: Some smell like a farm and others are cranky all the time. Just be yourself, be nice,  and make sure you appreciate her.

Good luck outrunning the baddies,

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day, spending it with someone or something you love. I spent it with my mom and my cat.

Oh, and I have an assignment for you: Write a love letter to yourself :)


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Rainy Mood

I was introduced to this lovely site, and thought I should share it with you guys. "Rainy Mood" provides (FREE--huzzah!) rainstorm sounds. It is excellent background noise for editing or sleeping.

Have a great day,

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Warm Fuzzies

One fall/winter, I was feeling low. I mean "why am I here?" "this is pointless" "who am I?" sort of low. My mom tipped off my sister, who then proceeded to contact my friends and our family for notes. Notes of encouragement, that is; things to bolster me up.

My sister got a good response and scrapbooked the notes and gave the book to me for Christmas.

That really encouraged me and it still helps me through the occasional rough patch...when I remember to look through it! Today's one of those days where I might read it from cover to cover.

And I think I'll drink lots of tea.


Has anyone done something nice for you lately? How have you shown kindness to others?

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Wee Hours of the Mornin'

What time is it? 5:22. AM. Very, very AM.

I'm aware that most of my blog followers are fellow writers. There may be some lurkers in there *peers through the ether* and they may be *le gasp* readers. Yes, I know you all read. I'm talking about people who read what *I* write...besides these silly posts. Which brings me to my dilemma:

To post for writers, new and aspiring?


To post for readers?


To post for both?

What are YOUR preferences?

Do you HAVE a preference?

Do you have some CHOCOLATE? I'm all out :(

Friday, February 1, 2013

Casting Call?

If you're anything like me, you like casting different people in movie roles...especially if it's an adaptation of a book.

For example, my lovely friend (and s talented opera singer) Megan Welenc would make a wonderful Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter. Evanna Lynch did a fab job. Megan would've as well. She's just got this sweet whimsy thing going on. And she can act.

Then there's casting actors in movie roles. There's been lots of debate as to if this guy will do a good job of portraying Suzanne Collins's Finnick from The Hunger Games sequel Catching Fire. (We'll see!)

Another fun thing to do--don't judge--is to cast characters in certain franchises/fandoms in other franchises/fandoms.

Say they had made A Christmas Carol episode of the 80's/90's TV show Full House?

Danny, of course, would be Scrooge. Instead of a miser, he'd be his usual dust-a-phobic self. My family sat down and thought up which FH characters would play Dickens's. We even had the plot twisted to fit...
What about you? (Please tell me my family is not alone in this madness!)

What actors or friends would you cast in an adaptation of your favorite book?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Blogger Failure

I want to apologize to those of you whose comments have landed in my spam filter. I keep forgetting to check the derned thing!

Also, I have been informed that at least one of you is receiving multiple notices of the same comment being made on my blog. Honestly, I didn't know I had the "Email me when additional comments are posted" feature and have no idea how to rectify the double- triple-mailings.

I will try to look into it soon, and I apologize for the inconvenience.


Friday, January 25, 2013

Loverly Peeps

'Ello, peeps!

Currently #am...
Music: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons
Book: Princess Elizabeth's Spy
Writing: The Disorderlies

I'm just checking in to remind you that In a Pickle is still $2.80 from my publisher (link on the right.) Get it for the cheap while you can!


What are you reading at the moment? Anything I should add to my TBR (to be read) pile?

I love hearing from fellow readers, so feel free to pop me a line here or at my email: bethovermyer@gmail.com

You are all wonderful. There is no one like you. Remember that :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

And the Winner is...

Congratulations, Marian, you have won a copy of In a Pickle!
Please send your email to: bethovermyer@gmail.com
and I will be in touch about what formats I can offer.