A snarky post. Not for the faint of heart. I make no apologies.
NW: Are you even published?
Me: The tone implies that without having your work in print, you are not a writer. In reality, a writer writes (always. :P) An author is published.
NW: I could have been a/n writer/author. I've had this great idea for years. I'm too busy to put it down on paper.
Me: That's insulting. You've never dedicated the time and effort to produce work, and you think you could just sit down and type out something wonderful without the practice? A monkey could sit down at a typewriter and hammer out words. That doesn't make it a writer.
NW: When are you going to get a real job?
Me: Even though it may not provide a steady income (or any income), that doesn't mean writing's not hard work. Oh, by job you meant where you get paid to sit at a desk and play solitaire? Yeah, I do that, too, but not on company time and I don't get paid for it ;)
NW: I just finished your book. When will it be published?
Me: You mean after I write several more drafts, feed it to beta readers, write and polish a query letter, synopsis, etc., and hopefully (but most likely not) snag an agent? Oh, and after that agent sells the project to a publisher? I don't know. Maybe several years.
NW: You're a bit cranky. Spending all that time alone behind a desk must have drained you of your people skills.
Me: Bite me.