If you read Dan Brown, JK Rowling, Jim Butcher or Stephanie Meyer, you are evil. Period.
If you read Jane Austen, you are as dry as toast.
If your favorite novelist is George Orwell, you suffer from acute paranoia. Please seek professional help immediately.
If you like Tolkien, you are a long-winded... windbag.
If you enjoy Agatha Christie, you drink lots of tea, love your mustaches. Oh, and you killed the butler.
If you cozy up with Oscar Wilde... I won't judge.
If you're a fan of Gaston Leroux, you can speak French and enjoy haunting operas... and pubs. Tsk-tsk.
If you're into Suzanne Collins, you are a realist.
If you crave Shakespeare, you're either very smart or very dumb.
If you read the funny pages, you know that I'm totally being sarcastic.
If you read the news, you know I am totally lying when I say I'm being sarcastic and that I have a hidden agenda in here... somewhere. Oh, and I can't speell worht a dern.
What's wrong with YOU--I mean, what do YOU enjoy reading?