Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms./It Agentious 1:
My novel "Da Bomb" is complete at 700,000 characters and is eagerly, anxiously, desirously awaiting your approval and pats on the head, cookies, sprinkles and cherries, etc.
"Bomb" is It's a Wonderful Life meets Lethal Weapon meets Napolean Dynomite meets The Muppets Take Manhattan meets Home Alone. When a man named George Bailey witnesses his wife's murder, he decides to move to France with his beloved Tater Tot (TM.) There he must make it in show business or be forced to live alone—at home—for the rest of his life... with BURGLARS!!
Bio: I am teh bestest author EVA!
The Bestest Author EVA!
P.S. Enclosed is a $100 bill and coupons to Olive Garden.
P.M.S. The enclosed $100 and Olive Garden coupons are for when we get together to discuss my book!
P.P.P.S. I like Olive Garden. I hope you do!!!!1
P.P.P.P.S. I also like crisp $100 bills and hope you do as well!!!1!!