Sunday, July 25, 2010

The 12 Drafts of the Novel

Happy Christmas in July! To celebrate the season--and the fact I am almost through with this round of edits--I present this pitiful parody.



(To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")



On the first draft of my novel my muse did say to me:

Let's just write the darn thing!


On the second draft of my novel my IE* said to me:

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the third draft of my novel my IE said to me:

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the fourth draft of my novel my IE said to me

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the fifth draft of my novel my IE said to me

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the sixth draft of my novel my IE said to me

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing



On the seventh draft of my novel my IE said to me

Look at all the adverbs!

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the eighth draft of my novel my IE said to me

More character development

Look at all the adverbs!

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the ninth draft of my novel my IE said to me

Run off a spell check

More character development

Look at all the adverbs!

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the tenth draft of my novel my IE said to me

You call that formatting?

Run off a spell check

More character development

Look at all the adverbs

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!



On the eleventh draft of my novel my IE said to me:

Cut the Oxford commas

You call that formatting?

Run off a spell check

More character development

Look at all the adverbs

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!

On the twelfth draft of my novel I said to my IE:

Shut up! I'm tired.

Cut the Oxford commas

You call that formatting?

Run off a spell check

More character development

Look at all the adverbs

You're under word count

Rewrite the whole thing!

Kill off the filler

Let's add a subplot

Set it aside

And let's just write the darn thing!

__

*IE=Inner Editor

Yes, I am too lazy to write the 12th draft. Deal with it! :-P

4 comments:

  1. *waves at Michelle* Thanks! I'm still really excited about Cinders. Can't wait to read it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks! I just ordered my box of 100 print copies! I'm so excited, it's silly. :)

    Thanks for adding it on Shelfari!

    ReplyDelete